Relationship troubles plague us all from time to time and it’s important to know how to properly handle such a delicate situation. Luckily, many relationships can be easily improved with a little work.
We struggle in relationships mostly because we haven’t learned the essential skills and techniques that influence relationships to thrive. Unfortunately, we never receive proper training in relationships when we are young. That would be too easy. Most of us learned by emulating those around us and those of us who did not have the best examples while growing up suffer.
The good news is that you can still work on these skills and develop your relationships into healthy ones. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s the other person that needs to work on these areas. Or maybe the relationship itself is not the right one for you, in which case you might just need to give up on it. But, in general, most relationships are salvageable if we are willing to work toward building a better bond and compromise. In order to succeed, you need to be fully determined to improve your relationships.
So if you are one of those determined people, follow these 5 tips improve your relationship today.
1. Learn to listen.
Communication is key in any relationship. But it’s often mistaken for being a one-way street. magic word only means knowing how to communicate your needs and thoughts and feelings, instead of also listening to the other person’s. In fact, one of the most important communication skills is active listening, which includes not interrupting the other person and definitely not judging what your partner is saying.
Counsellors and relationship coaches always stress that we need to listen to the other person with genuine interest if we want to improve our relationship with person.
I don’t know about you, but something about the undivided attention I am receiving from the other person really triggers warmth in me. And I always try to return this act of kindness.
2. Put aside your ego.
Prioritizing your ego over your partner’s thoughts and feelings is a surefire way to ruin your relationship. Resorting to the blame game, manipulation and the constant need to have the last word are all signs that you’re feeding your ego rather than your relationship. If you are in this destructive cycle, step back and reassess where it is coming from. A lot of the times it’s just your fear of rejection or feelings you have not dealt with in the past that is taking shape.
3. Vocalise your appreciation.
A lot of the times we take our partners for granted and forget to appreciate all the little things they do for us. We forget that our hearts are like plants that need to be watered in order to thrive. Words of appreciation are like what water and sunlight are to plants.
Don’t be stingy with vocalizing your appreciation! Does your partner usually cook dinner or get groceries? Thank them! Did he clean out your desk? Leave him a little note of appreciation. These little things can help the health of your relationship immensely and encourage thoughtfulness from the one you care about.
4. Pay attention to your body language and tone.
It’s not what we say but how we say it that matters. It’s important to constantly be aware of how you’re appearing and especially conscious of your tone while speaking with your S.O.
Don’t cross your arms when you’re arguing and get rid of the bitter edge in your voice. Trust me, your partner can feel the annoyance and bitterness in your tone, which can create more issues than the one at hand. This obviously does not help the relationship.
One way to maintain a neutral tone and body language is by discussing the biggest issue and harshest points about them while you are both calm to avoid any miscommunication that could result from misread body language or accidental tones.
5. Refrain from criticizing.
Try to bite your tongue, especially during arguments. When we are in the midst of a heated discussion, we might say things, maybe even true things, in extremely unkind ways that can do a lot of damage.
If you really want your partner to change a specific behavior, bring it up at a time when you are both level-headed and calm. Wait until the argument is over and you both have calmed down. That’s when your partner is more likely to listen to your opinions.
Source: Mehruba Chowdhury